


Calm and Quiet

by Potkanka



Category: Tomb Raider (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, I tried to give him a break for once, Lara is a Lady, Mentions of Blood, Swearing, birthday fic for Kurtis, but did I succeed?, or better yet did Lara succeed?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 13:59:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19378135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Potkanka/pseuds/Potkanka
Summary: For his birthday, Kurtis asked Lara to go somewhere "calm and quiet". Easier said than done. Even if a dinner at a fancy restaurant sounded like a safe idea.





	Calm and Quiet

“You know, this is your fault,” Kurtis whispered.

“My fault?” Lara repeated with the slightest hint of polite offence. “How is this my fault?”

Kurtis peeked over the large potted plant and then turned back to Lara. “'Cause you decided we should go here.”

Lara's judgemental eyebrow rose up. She wasn't having any of it. “Did it not fit your criteria?”

“I said somewhere calm and quiet!” Kurtis' loud whispering was luckily muffled by a few gunshots from the other end of the room.

Lara took a sip from her champagne glass that she saved even while they dived for  their current hiding spot . “ It's a restaurant. Perfectly calm and quiet.”

A few more warning shots filled the air in an attempt to calm down the frightened diners. “ Shut up! Do what we say and no-one gets hurt!  Now hand over your jewellery! ”

“Your idea of calm and quiet is...” Kurtis paused. “Yeah, just about what I expected, actually.”

Lara huffed. “You can n ot really think I  planned for the restaurant to be robbed.”

“No, I just,” Kurtis huffed in silent frustration. “I'd hoped that if I didn't say anything specific and let you choose, we'd have better luck avoiding trouble.”

“Are you joking?” Lara leaned closer to him. “You know of my rotten luck just as well as yours. Surely you must've entertained the possibility of something happening.”

“Well I should have,” Kurtis rolled his eyes. He peeked at the armed men once again. “At least it's not demons...”

“That wouldn't make it much harder,” Lara frowned.

“Yeah maybe,” Kurtis sighed, “but I've had a pretty stressful month with those twin Estonian demons and I'd be happy not to see any for a day or two. I was really hoping for a chill birthday, you know?”

“I understand,” Lara nodded seriously. “Don't worry.”

“Alright, now that you said that I'm worried,” Kurtis eyed her and Lara gave him a brief smirk – before she stood up, foregoing her hiding spot along with her safety.

“Excuse me, gentlemen,” she spoke up, making the robbers along with most of the diners huddled together look towards her. All weapons were suddenly trained at her as well. “You are ruining my partner's birthday.”

“How the fuck did you miss her?!” hissed one masked man at another. At Lara he shouted. “Come here right now!”

“I could do that,” Lara sipped from her glass, “but you are yet to address my grievances. Am I to expect you to get to them once I walk over to you?”

Another man shot a spray of bullets into the ceiling. Several guests wailed. “ Get here!” he growled. “And where's that partner of yours?” he narrowed his eyes.

Kurtis could watch  how Lara deal t with the situation , or he could join in.  Yeah , at least those weren't demons. He stood up. “Right here,” he raised his hand like in  a classroom.

“Oh Kurtis,” Lara turned to him in rebuke, “I would have handled this, you can relax.”

“You were just chatting with them,” Kurtis pointed out. He noticed that the robbers were watching them in about half anger, half confusion. Good. But how long would they wait before they really started shooting at them?

“It cost nothing to be polite,” Lara protested in the same mild manner as she'd spoken so far.

“Only maybe your life?” Kurtis nodded his head to the group of people. “They have guns.”

“Yeah so get the fuck here!” one of the man shouted again, angrier than before.

“I suppose we can?” Lara raised an eyebrow at Kurtis. He sighed and gestured with his hand as if saying “ladies first”. Lara smiled at him and sauntered forward, sipping from her glass. He followed a step behind.

“Now sit with the others!” one of the man pointed with his gun at the ground.

L ara eyed the floor. “It's not exactly spotless, wouldn't you say, Kurtis? I took a long time choosing this dress and I would hate for it to get dirty...”

“Fucking do what I say!” At this rate, the man was going to go hoarse soon. He pointed out with his free hand towards her neck. “And give me that bling!”

Lara looked down, as if only now realizing she wore a pendant. She aimed her gaze back at the robber, still impeccably polite.  “ I can't give you that, many men died for this necklace.”

Another man stepped in, waiting hand outstretched, the other aiming a gun at her forehead.  “ We don't care about your sob story!”

Kurtis didn't move, but stepped in at least verbally. “No, you don't understand. She _killed_ many men for this necklace.”

“Was it not what I said?” Lara turned to him. Kurtis shrugged and did a so-so motion with his hand.

“In any case,” Lara continued, “if you try to take it, I will have to kill you as well. That would not be a problem for me, but I imagine it would ruin _your_ evening.”

“As they ruined mine,” Kurtis mumbled.

“Very true,” Lara gestured to him with her glass, and then took another sip with a contemplative expression. “Would it be fair to kill them then?”

“Do you usually care if it's fair before you kill someone?” Kurtis wondered sceptically.

Lara grinned. “Also very true.”

The men watched the discussion, anger at being ignored pushed down by the sheer absurdity of the pair not caring about the very immediate,  very  mortal danger. Those things they were saying… those could hardly be true, could they?

But at the woman's last grin, they weren't so sure anymore.

Especially when her partner returned back an amused smirk.

 

* * *

 

“Calm and quiet, as you wished,” Lara placed a napkin in her lap.

Kurtis hummed, taking a look around. “Really quiet. I didn't realize how much noise the other guests made. It's nice.”

A waiter came over  to their table and refilled Lara's glass, by now almost empty. “Although I suppose the  stench might be a bit of a bother?” she asked.

Kurtis leaned back in his chair. “A little bit of human blood never made me lose my appetite. Besides, that's why we threw the  bodies outside, I can hardly smell anything.”

“The other guests clearly did,” Lara let her eyes roam over the empty tables around them. “They must have much more delicate noses, for the smell to make them all leave.”

“Must be it,” Kurtis took his own glass. “Or you know, maybe the trauma from watching the two of us butcher all the robbers.”

Lara thought over that possibility, a twitch of her mouth betraying her amusement. “Hmm, no, I don't think so. And enough of that, we are here to celebrate your birthday.”

“Calm and quiet,” Kurtis sighed contentedly and they clinked their glasses.


End file.
